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[25 Nov 2009|01:24pm] |
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Im gonna set up a new LJ me-thinks, start a fresh loyke...
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[24 Nov 2009|04:07pm] |
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mood |
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Dreams are freaky sometimes...
Had 2 rather odd ones last night, the first involved Sara, and that she had turned up somewhere where I was, just to sleep with me again, regardless of being with someone.
The other, had Anna in it... And she turned up somewhere, just to sleep with me, again, regardless that she's with someone...
So yeah, I have no idea what the hell that was about, as much as they were just dreams, they seemed a bit, different, and there was something about them that's making them tick around a bit more...
Anybody any good with dreams?
Suffice to say though, this morning I started to get the whole "Why am I single? What's going to happen to me? What am I doing with my life? Will I meet someone? Will it work if I did meet someone? Is it all going wrong? Blah? Blah? Blaaaaah!" But feeling better now. :-)
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| well hello |
[16 Nov 2009|02:43am] |
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mood |
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 groggy |
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Ah, now this is something I haven't done in a long long while...
Hello Live Journal!
HA!
Oh me oh my, what to do, what to say? I really dont know...
Well, how about an update? That sounds good to me...
RIGHTIO!
Well I've started Uni in Swansea Metropolitan, doing my HND in Technical Theatre, so far I've done very little work outside of a class room, and really need to do some.
With starting Uni has also meant the start of living on my own, which did take a while to get used too. (If you hadn't guessed by now, I'm living in Swansea). To be honest, once I started to properly settle in, its been really good.
As well as starting Uni and Moving out, I've also had to meet people, and to be honest, they're all pretty cool. There's a little bit of pretty pointless animosity now and again between people, but all in all, people are really cool, which is also a plus. :D
The downside to moving up here though, is the things I'm missing out on, and things that I've lost and left behind on the way, not all through my own choice, which is a bit of a bum side.
The first thing thats been lost is (as is common with University life) the better half. Alas, I am spoken for no more. I am a "single and free man", as the saying goes. How do I feel about this? Gutted? Yes. Upset? Yes. Shocked? Yes. Surprised? No. Once I moved to Swansea and she moved to Aberystwyth, the bigger arguments started, the lack of seeing each other took affect, and the initial personality changes kicked in... No real surprise that it was edging towards ending then... Still gets me down, but hey, at least I'm not going through everything I did with Anna again. Which it wouldn't have become anyway, but still.
The next thing to take a kick up the backside is the age old game of Poker, which I haven't had a proper game of since the start of September, and looking at the fact its now mid November, I think thats a bit shit.
The third thing to take a hit, which has left more of a dent, is the age old act of Am Dram. Thankfully, I managed to stick around for the last review, at which it was announced that they've made enough money to actually hit the theatre! Which makes me very happy indeed. :D First show, Buddy (the Buddy Holly Story), which I'm making myself as available as possible for! As long as I don't have to sing that bloody La Bamba song again... But before that, there's the topic of the Christmas show they are doing, which I cant be there for due to Uni work, which also entails the Christmas Party at the end of it! Which means I'll be missing that too. Damn. On the plus side, I'm doing Panto again, and Noel's chasing me for the big Phoenix play in March (Pygmalion for those interested).
The other loss, being money... As of this afternoon, Im living off of £15... Fun.
Anything else to report?
Not that I know of...
Oh, I'm back on MSN with a different e-mail address, and thats about it.
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[29 Jul 2009|11:18am] |
are none of you miserable recently?
Not even a slight hint of aggravation?
My reason for asking, Ive got NO entries on my bloody friends page...
Somebody entertain me...
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[27 Jun 2009|10:32am] |
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ive actually finished college... :-|
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| Rightio! |
[12 Jun 2009|05:06pm] |
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Bit of a quickie on the old updating thing...
I need money, i need a job, I need to finish coursework, all in all, nothing new!
Troy's getting married in about 3 weeks, and me and Sam are Best Men :-D
Im trying to arrange a stand up comedy night in The Masons on the 18th of July, Come down to it!
Im also going to be doing Stand up...
Oh
God...
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[05 May 2009|11:43am] |
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mood |
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ah, what to do...
what to do...
work is what i need to do, but i cant be arsed; im still laying in bed doing nothing and not happy about it, and not gonna change it either...
but its really bugging me...
i'm starting to get a bit fed up with life in general at the moment, slowly and steadily...
ok, granted theres a lot of good things happening with me at the moment, but there are the downs as well...
lost the job in the lib last week, the Stewardess has come back and taken up all the hours, although they are gonna call me in for the odd shift now and again, which isnt too bad, although i need to start asking around to find out about other jobs... dunno if i wanna stick with bar work, or find something with a bit more cash...
on a side note, i need to stop farting, im gassing myself...
College is finishing soon too, which is cool, and a bit meh at the same time...
Honestly, I cant be arsed with music tech anymore...
the Techy course is starting to drag a bit now as well, but thats because I've done virtually everything... (should hopefully be getting Distinction for it though =D)
Ive dropped down from doing ND Music Tech to the NC, so its a bit less work for me to do, and its just finishing everything off now...
In other news, Did Oliver again last week... As much as I dont like the show that much, doing it is something else, completely different feeling. Got a Standing Ovation on the Saturday night as well :-D, and then had a load of complete randoms congratulating me and saying how good Im supposed to be (I dont see it, Ive never seen it, it comes naturally to me, so I just do it, its nothing special). We had the kid who won the TV thing to do it in London come watch the show as well, which was pretty cool.
Been asked to do it again in November as well, dunno yet though. Probably will, depends on what else is on and stuff...
Cant really think of anymore now though so yeah...
Probably update again in another 2 months or something, haha.
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[30 Mar 2009|05:19pm] |
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mood |
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so yeah, brief update...
Im doing Oliver & Strangers again, in that order... with the same parts =D
Ive gotten into Swansea Met to do Tech Theatre
Im apparently failing Music Tech, but flying through Tech Theatre
Ive made it into the regional final for poker, dunno if I can go though, gonna be quite gutted if I cant
Im supposed to be doing a show thing in the RNA, but havent spoken to anyone about it
and
Im with someone new, who is Bloody Gorgeous, and Awesome in every way!
and im off to have food.
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[27 Dec 2008|04:19am] |
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mood |
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chipper |
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Right, New Year, New Start, Etc Etc...
I'm Young
I'm Single
I'm Free
I'm not conforming to anyone
I'm not changing
I'm not gonna mope about it...
I just cant be arsed anymore.
I say Fuck and Cunt a lot, dont like it?
Suck my Hairy Fucking Balls you CUNT
Aaaahhh. Nicey Nice!
Uni in september, Swansea hopefully, and my one slight worry is no more... Fanny-Anne wont be there, the Tech course is in the other campus =D So its fresh starts all around come september.
'Mazin!
need to pee... T'ra
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[08 Dec 2008|01:52am] |
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mood |
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 indescribable |
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Im hoping this works.
I dont see why it cant or wont, but I really hope it does.
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| More poetry... |
[30 Nov 2008|12:28pm] |
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mood |
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blank |
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The World Turns
Dissappear into the mist
And shroud your self in a cloud of energy;
That's the way you will pull through this.
Don't let what they say pull you down,
Relish it and relinquish them of their title
Of their Status
Of their honour
But leave them humbled and happy,
That way your own worlds can return to their normal rotations,
Because neither this world,
nor the next,
will stop and wait for you to get ready.
It's a developing world,
Everything around you will continue to grow,
continue to build,
continue to age and grow old,
and continue to crack.
The key to survival is to get on,
and never get off
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| So its come to this... |
[29 Nov 2008|10:54am] |
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mood |
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chipper |
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Ok, in my misery, sent Anna a text yesterday morning saying how I still felt for her, kinda hoping that id get a text back saying how she feels...
Instead I log onto Facebook this morning and see a nice message on her status that reads something along the lines of "Anna Vaughan Lewis thinks wynne Seaborne should get a life". And I smiled, haha.
this just prompted me to finally do what everyones telling me to do and tell her to fuck off, so i've sent her a text saying simply, "Ah, very mature. Fuck You. :-)", and to add to it, Im playing her at her own game, and have now set my facebook status to "Wynne thinks that actually, no, Fuck You seems far more appropriate Anna Vaughan Lewis. :-)."
Right thing to do?
Actually, Im thinking Fuck Yes.
BRING ON THE AUSTRALIANS!
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[28 Nov 2008|12:16am] |
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mood |
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I still love her more than anything...
I miss her more than Ive missed anything...
All I want is to actually see her
And listen to her voice
And get a hug...
But that ain't gonna happen now, is it?
ahhhh fuck.
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[27 Nov 2008|02:21am] |
I love her, still... it hasnt changed...
I can see a repition in history here somewhere...
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[25 Nov 2008|02:05am] |
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mood |
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Gotta be fair, I really missed her today... More than I have done so far...
Grrrrrr.........
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[20 Nov 2008|12:34am] |
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mood |
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Someone remind me not to get too over my head with this, and not to get my hopes up... Please...
Kay, Im looking at you more than anyone!
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[13 Nov 2008|11:07pm] |
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mood |
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okay |
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Amber and Kayl have done them, so its my turn, Muhahahaha... (granted, mass majority wont see this, hehe)
-----------
Elf - Oddly, for someone who is, always has and always will be just a friend, whenever your around I feel on such a level that only one person have I ever felt more for...
Sibling - Get your head out of your ass, and live in the real world.
Little Joe - Sort your life out, your change of scenery has changed your attitude for the worse, but changed your life for the better. But you dont acknowledge what youve stopped holding.
Rainbow - I've never appreciated you enough. In the time Ive known you, youve stood by and supported more than anyone, and I dont acknowledge it. This is me saying Sorry and Thank You.
Facade - Stick by your guns, its all right for you to advise people, but when its your turn, listen to what you say yourself.
Poetry - Stand on your own two feet. You've still got more maturing to do, and at present, its your friends maturing yourself for you.
Rabbits - You seem to still be looking for your teenage life, dont become a Peter Pan.
Supergirl - Your the mate everyone should have, basically... your just there, whenever needed for anything. T'is awesome.
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| And so the decision is made... |
[13 Nov 2008|10:12pm] |
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mood |
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apathetic |
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Bollocks to her.
Sent her a text saying:
"Hey. Just wanna say thank you for coming to see the show with me. Hope you enjoyed it. Dare say I wont see you now until christmas if your back in town, (lemme know if you do come back, go for a pint and catch up on stuff). See you again. Love. Wynne. Xxx"
basically, told her to fuck off politely... Sent at 03:39:39pm, not heard a squeak from her.
Told her last night how I feel about the new guy to her face as well. Looked her dead in the eye (and made sure of that) and told her the only thing I was wrong about him was the fact that I said itd only last about a month, and that it'll last about 3 or 4, maybe 5 months instead, and that I still think hes only in it for the sex and he still reminds me of the wankers from college who had about 4 or 5 girls on the go at a time, and also told her (here's the new bit) That he's only gonna have her as a trophy wife type thing, Im not quite sure how she took it, think the alcohol may have hindred her thoughts...
Alas, to quote myself from the top line "Bollocks to her."
(ok, granted, I still feel the same towards her, and still wanna be there for her if and when anything happens... but thats not gonna be there anymore, and it physically hurts... But, what can I do, eh?)
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| Untitled Number 2 |
[09 Nov 2008|10:21am] |
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mood |
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apathetic |
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Hoping and waiting for your drunken ramblings,
Getting upset when they dont come.
What sort of broken man am I?
What sort of broken man have I become?
What am I to do?
I say I can see it coming,
I say I can see what's happening,
But I cant.
And I dont.
And I wont accept it, not really.
I'll say that I am,
trying to make myself feel like a bigger man.
I say I don't want to lose you;
and I don't;
If I did, I think it would kill me,
And then the only way I can express myself is through poetry.
Maybe it's killing me all ready,
if that's the case.
What am I to do?
Why can't I accept?
Why am I trying, but...
but trying not to at the same time.
I can see that something
somewhere
is pushing me towards the future...
...
...and the future has a corner...
...
...that's turning back to you.
Our time isn't over yet.
There'll be other people.
For you, and for me.
But then our outlaying paths
Shall cross again.
At some point, somewhere, at some time.
You will break my heart again.
You are my Jack;
And I am your Sally,
But you don't know that - or what it means.
Willing to go through with all of your plans
how dangerously stupid some may be,
but still.
I am your Sally...
and, "Jack",
I do Love you,
For all of days.
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[07 Nov 2008|12:22am] |
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mood |
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crappy |
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done some slight lyric editing, but kinda fits...
-------------------------------
I sense there's something in the wind
That feels like tragedy's at hand
And though I'd like to stand by her
Can't shake this feeling that I have
The worst is just around the bend
And does she notice my feelings for her?
And will she see how much she means to me?
I think it's not to be
What will become of my dear friend?
Where will her actions lead us then?
Although I'd like to join the crowd
In her enthusiastic cloud
Try as I may, it doesn't last
And will we ever end up together?
No, I think not, it's never to become
For I am not the one
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